IMMEDIATELY, Anthea realised she had thrown the handcuffs into her bag one day after her son Darcy had used them when he dressed up as a convict for St Patrick’s Primary School book week. When she attempted to explain that to the “three wise men”, the reply was “that’s what they all say, madam”.

AFTER handing over the handcuffs, Anthea indicated the boys could keep them, to which the reply was along the lines of “thanks, but no thanks, we already have enough pairs of our own”. On the way out of the courthouse, our “damsel in distress” was greeted with “here comes the handcuff lady” before being handed the handcuffs. By all accounts, they are now back in Darcy’s possession and will stay that way.

WHILE playing a game of snooker last week, Al Smith found a unique way of sinking the pink ball, but unfortunately for him, it wasn’t worth any points. In fact, it cost him six. After using the long jigger, Al accidentally dropped it onto the table where it collided with the pink ball and shot it into a pocket.

BY all accounts, Al and his playing partner Mick Steep recovered from the penalty points to defeat their opponents Steph Sweeney and Ronnie Wicks in the Ex-Services doubles championships. The winners now take on my long-suffering partner Dick Bowden and yours truly in the next round.

THE question was raised the other day – “What would happen if a snooker player dropped his cue or jigger by accident and it landed in the middle of the reds triangle then scattered all the balls?”. There would have to be some sort of penalty of course, maybe even loss of the frame.

LAST week, three-year-old Bonnie Forrester visited the pool with her grandfather Trevor Gibson and on the way out, Bonnie indicated she was a bit “peckish” before ordering a bag of “finger chips”. When I asked Bonnie what sort of crisps she meant, her older sister Azaria informed me that Bonnie meant Burger Rings before explaining the round chips slipped over her fingers. Just common sense really.

VETERAN athlete Taddy Macfarlane reckons it was a bit of a circus when a recent fun run was held at Harris Park in Armidale. While the competitors were going through their pre-race preparations, the automatic sprinkler system came on causing a few inconveniences.

THEN when it came time to start the race, there was no noise from the starting pistol simply because it didn’t have a cap in position to make the bang. Just for the record, Taddy finished his 10 kilometres in 51 minutes, 21 seconds to place fifth in the 55 years plus age group – not a bad effort for a 74-year-old.

THE Walcha Council Social Club held their annual Christmas party at the showground last Saturday where plenty of food and beverages were on offer for those who chose to partake. There was one game played where the participants were required to knock over some numbered pegs with a chunk of wood shaped like a rolling pin.

A COUPLE of contestants experienced problems scoring points due to the fact they couldn’t knock any pegs over and were faced with the prospect of a “nudie run” for failure to score. Luckily, A. J. Cross did finally hit a peg which relieved everyone present at the shindig, but the jury is still out on Deon “Longhandle” Lawrence on whether he managed to down a peg or not.

STILL on the subject of “Longhandle”, there will be a farewell party for Deon this Saturday at the bowling club from 6pm. For those people unaware, “Longy” was manager of the bowling club for 18 years up until recent times, and has moved on to council employment. Everyone is welcome to attend, and if you intend on doing so, please make sure you contact the BC for catering purposes immediately if not sooner.

WELL done to St Pat’s school students Will Hall and Ollie Greig who were picked in the Diocesan Cricket Squad after catching the eye of the selectors at trials held in Gunnedah last Friday. The dynamic duo will represent the Armidale Diocese in Lismore next February where trials for a Polding squad to compete at the NSW Championships will be played. Good luck, Will and Ollie.

I CAUGHT up with trainee golf professional A. J. Brennan last Sunday, who looks like he is currently trying to impersonate English golfer Andrew “Beef” Johnston judging by the bushy beard he has grown. This Sunday, a number of local golfers are heading out to the Tamworth Longyard Course to play in an event organised by their members in honour of A. J. after he had his employment terminated there recently for reasons out of his control.