ENTER five Cafe Graze staff, five customers off the deck and Brooke Jeffrey, who is a pram user herself at the moment – still no dice. In a last ditch attempt to fold the child carriage down, a phone call was made to dad Sam to see if he could assist. Bingo!

DURING recent times, Roos halfback Dean Kelly called around to Jamieson Street to see Flint Henry and, on arrival, noticed Flint’s Ford XR Turbo idling away despite no sign of its owner, which made “Snowy” think Flint and Willy Wicks hadn’t headed to Armidale just yet.

ANYWAY, after Snowy had left and then returned about an hour later, low and behold, Flint’s vehicle was still running. He phoned Flint, only to find out he was already in Armidale with Willy, which made Dean wonder how long the car would have run if he hadn’t turned it off.

HEARD along the grapevine there was a “flasher” at footy training last Thursday night, but by all accounts, the act wasn’t intentional. During one of the Jillaroos’ drills, co-captain Robyn Broadbent accidently pulled down the pants of teammate Shae Partridge – apparently there was underwear involved as well.

AS the Roos and Rams were also training nearby, Shae was embarrassed they might have copped an eyeful, but it certainly didn’t worry her last Saturday when she ran in two tries and was judged players’ player by her teammates.

ANY regular reader of this column would be aware that council urban works supervisor Steph Sweeney enjoys scaring the living daylights out of anyone he can, and thinks it’s extremely funny. Well, the boot was on the other foot again not long back when Apsley Arms Hotel publican Graeme Hislop caught the golden-haired wonder child off guard as he strolled past the pub’s poker machine room. So many people would be disappointed to hear that – not!

ANYONE who has witnessed Roos player Jock Abraham play footy would be fully aware that he runs very hard with the ball every time he is in possession of the pill. That was no different last Saturday, but as I entered the Roos dressing room after the game, I asked Jock sarcastically, “why don’t you run a bit harder?”, to which he replied, “why don’t you lose some weight?”. Checkmate.

“NEWIE” 2IC Bob Denniss enjoyed a few celebratory birthday drinks recently and around about the same time was holding a conversation with his bar staff member Lisa Swanton about their annual pilgrimage to the Gold Coast in the near future. When Bob informed Lisa he had spotted some good wine specials at Bunnings, she immediately thought he meant Dan Murphy’s. He did.

WHILE filling out my footy tips at the Newie last Thursday, a robust discussion came up about the difference between a frankfurt and a saveloy. My exact words were: “frankfurts are a bright red colour while saveloys are more of a crimson colour and are larger in size, circumference-wise”, which was howled down by a couple of patrons in particular, and a few others who reckoned they knew better.

ANYWAY, the best way to sort it out would be to visit either Foodworks or IGA  and take a peek in either deli section where you will find there is a difference between the two. Or then again, check out the poster in the Newie.

AFTER visiting Foodworks last Friday, I was about to jump into our car when I noticed someone sitting in the passenger seat. On investigation, Cecil Dunn was perched up in the Outlander and, just as I was about to ask what he was doing in it, realised he was sitting in his own vehicle which is close to identical to ours. What made it worse, I was driving the ute owned by my son Ben at the time, not the Outlander, and it was parked right next to Cec’s car.

BIG Wigs of the Week: Newie – Ben Green, Tim Beaumont; Bowlies – Normie Goodwin (all picked the card); Apsley – Troy Le Strande, Jamie Wall, Gutty Marshall; WVS – Kate Lyons, Dion Bird; Prime Meats – Luke and Brian Wellings, Stephen Dunn, Richie Lake, Kate Lyon, “Rocky” Laurie, Dianne Green (all 14 points).

SO close, but yet so far. At Prime Meats, Dianne Green was filling out her selections when butcher Jonathon Cross, who follows Penrith, talked Di into selecting the Panthers over the Cowboys – the team she was going to take. That decision cost Di picking the entire card plus bonus points. And guess who “Jonnie” took? The North Queensland Cowboys.

HAPPY Mother’s Day to all the mums out there – in particular Linda Cross, Rachael Wellings and my favourite mother-in-law Ida Hoy. Although my mother Colleen is no longer with us, there will certainly be a thought spared for her on Sunday.

LAST, but by no means least, happy birthday to my old mate Gary Natty when he celebrates the milestone of 60 years on the planet this Saturday. Hope you have a good one, “Riley”.