What's the Goss? Tunnel vision for Blue's vehicle

APSLEY Street dweller, West Tigers follower and former county council employee Phillip Andrew Hoy clocks up a few kilometres around town on a regular basis but nothing prepared him for some correspondence he received from Roads and Maritime Services the other day.

FOR those people who are unaware, Phillip pilots a "Nippy" which transports himself and his wheelchair when they are out and about. According to the RMS, "Blue" was travelling in a westerly direction in the Cross City Tunnel in Sydney at 20.51pm on March 15 and didn't pay a toll fee of $5.74 which increased to $15.74 with administration fees.

ACCORDING to Blue, the unbelievable thing about the whole episode was he was back at home before sunrise next morning, not realising his "Nippy" could travel so fast. A bit like the time Walcha Council received a bill for their front end loader cruising around the streets of "Steak and Kidney" when it hadn't left the North Street depot.

LOCAL sporting great Max Holstien celebrated 87 years on the planet last Sunday by carding a 92 off the stick at golf which equates to 68 nett, good enough to land him victory in the C grade division of the monthly stroke medal round. Good on ya, Max. Hope you had a memorable day.

ON the subject of birthdays, car salesman and fellow Sea Eagles supporter Peter Norbury celebrated his 63rd on Monday with a round of golf that included club captain Willy Brennan, who will reach the same milestone before Santa comes, and motorbike superstar Casey Stoner. By all accounts, Casey cracked a three-wood off the tee 30m through the green on the seventh hole.

CONGRATULATIONS to Elders employee and Rams halfback Angus MacTavish who was judged NSW Young Auctioneer at the Royal Easter Show last weekend. Judged on diction, values, voice and manner along with presence and unique style, Angus caught the eye of a panel of respected and experienced auctioneers to claim the top prize.

After having witnessed our first home footy game of the season with the double header last Saturday, what an improvement to the ground from last season.

PAKINGTON Street resident, former Sea Eagles supporter and council rural roads supervisor Wayne Brennan received an interesting text message on his phone last Saturday which read, "any closer, sweetie?". When he tracked down the sender, Brenno found it was his good mate Bradden Jackson who had sent it to the wrong person by mistake.

KARMA is a good thing, according to Brenno, because you may recall "Jacko" threw Wayne under the bus when he reckoned his friend thanked Apsley publican Graeme Hislop with "thanks darl" after collecting a beer from him recently. Wayne still maintains he said "thanks Dave", with reference to part-time barman Dave Abraham.

AFTER having witnessed our first home footy game of the season with the double header last Saturday, what an improvement to the ground from last season. Both footy clubs will benefit from the new lighting and PA system, along with renovations to the kiosk and dressing rooms at the Park. Well done to all involved.

WHEN the Rams had finished and the Roos were about to take over, rugby timekeeper and scorer Warwick Fletcher couldn't find his scoresheets until he realised he had them tucked under his arm. "Wok's" offsider Bevis Hoy did mention that he may need a mention in this week's column - and it's only fair that he did.

WHAT about the large fellow who wandered into the IGA last week making a fashion statement by wearing his shirt inside-out. Not long later, the same bloke attempted to get into the vehicle of Lisa Swanton outside the same shop instead of his own. For more information, see Chloe Carter, Tracey Crisp or Lisa herself.

THERE was an injury early on at the footy double-header, but it had nothing to do with any action on the field. Roos sponsor and committee person Stephen "Wilba" Haslem was cutting up some onions when he sliced his hand open after the knife he was using went off-track.

LAST Friday evening, "Hushpuppies" tragic, Forestry employee and all-round jokester Bradley Jackson was handing out free information on a horse running at Randwick the next day called Bobby - and telling us we should all get on it.

A CHECK of the form guide indicated there was no Bobby listed, but there was a nag named Bobbing which saluted in race three paying a tidy dividend. Pity some of us didnt listen to "Bade" the previous evening.

VETERAN golfer John Mann can't remember how many times he has shot under his age (87 years this year) at golf, but he did it with ease again last Sunday. Unfortunately, "Ming" wasn't quite as clever when it came to footy tipping after he went against his beloved West Tigers who rounded up the Broncos last Thursday.

BIG Wigs of the Week: B.C. - Margaret Morris picked the card - "superstar"!; Newie - Bek Naylor, "Mark the Dwarf", Rossie Green, A. J. Cross; Apsley - Andrew "the Chocolate Frogman" Kerr, A. J. Cross; W. V. S. Harry King - all 14 points each.