PART-time "Nerstane" Woolbrook resident, when he is home from school at Scots College, Jack McLaren, provided the bagpipe music at both services, and what a great job he did. Jack attended the Novascotia Tattoo in Canada last year and will also play his bagpipes at the Royal Edinburgh Military Tattoo at ANZ Stadium in Sydney in October.

CHIROPRACTOR Samantha Goor was working on Ken Rizzi at the chiropractic centre in the main street last week when she looked out of the window and spotted someone attempting to gain entry to his vehicle. When Sam informed "Shorty", he reckoned that wouldn't be the case. It was a case of mistaken vehicle identity. Walcha Rugby League committeeman Johnny Byrne thought Shorty's ute belonged to Roos president Michael Aspinall and was about to leave an esky on the back of it. As Shorty mentioned, luckily "Byrnesy" didn't because he would have had no idea who owned the esky.

NORTH Street resident, Rabbitohs supporter and my oldest sister Tracey certainly celebrated her 60^th birthday in style last Sunday, including being taken to lunch in Armidale by Suzie Harrison and Jenny Bowden. On arrival back home, it was off to the bowling club for a few dark ale refreshments, but the fun and games were just about to begin.

WHEN "Tracky" decided to take a six-number Keno ticket, the numbers she selected corresponded with her birthday. our family have always celebrated her birthday on the 29^th, but as she reckons she found out it was the 28^th on her birth certificate, both numbers were taken. Throw in four for April, 19 and 59 (year), 60 of course, and bingo!

THEN, just for good measure, Tracey also picked the card in the BC footy tipping competition last weekend. Fellow Big Wigs of the Week were: Apsley - Lizzie Manns, Johnny Bell; Newie - Josh Gollan also picked the card while out at Walcha Vets Supplies, Dion Bird scored 12 points.

LAST Saturday just before lunch, my much-better half Linda said she thought I needed a haircut, which I agreed with. About eight or 10 years ago, I used to cut my own hair and back then, it was just clippers without a comb, which worked out fine. This time around, there were two big differences - the hair wasn't quite as dense and was a different colour. Probably should have left it to Amanda Thornbury to do the job.

DURING a recent visit to Sydney, Meridan Street dweller, Moons Nursery CEO and Bunnies fan Stephen John Sweeney visited Taronga Park Zoo where he reckons he saw a "razorback" gorilla belt a smaller gorilla under the ear and send it sprawling, much to the amusement of some Japanese tourists.

WHEN quizzed about what the "razorback" gorilla looked like, the "Golden-Haired Wonder Child" suddenly realised he meant "silverback" instead. "Clean Sween" has a habit of jumbling words on occasions, including "Wonder Pastureland" when describing the local bowls event "Pasture Wonderland" played here annually.

"MILTIADES" grazier Stephen Hoy experienced a bit of trouble while attending the funeral of Dorothy "Doss" Wark in Tamworth recently - more so at the wake held at a church hall. Word has it "Roley" somehow found himself using the women's toilet instead of the men's by mistake. Maybe a trip to Specsavers might help, "Roley".

LAST Sunday during the BAM golf event, my playing partner Deon Lawerence sensationally played the 17^th hole where he carded a birdie - a great score in the multiplier section six holes. I only hit the ball five times on that hole, which usually means two points, and multiplied by "Longhandle's" four points, that should have meant eight points for the hole. Unfortunately, we had to add an extra shot for my airswing on the tee which lowered the score to four points. Cruel game, golf sometimes.

THE clock on the golf club wall has disappeared. Hopefully, by the time you read this, a replacement has been found. Rumour has it one of the doors at the club may or may not have been closed with enough force to knock the old clock onto the floor and break it. The finger has been pointed at a certain Sea Eagles supporter who lives very close to the police station.

MAKING a fashion statement at the Newie last Saturday afternoon, Amie Eveleigh was unaware of it while wearing a shirt inside-out. She even tried to get barmaid Michelle Wayte to cut some tags off with a pair of scissors. Apparently, Amie thought they were price tags, not clothing labels.

SEA Eagles follower David Garth Clare was about to do everyone in the bowling club a favour after the footy by pulling the curtains closed to shut out the shine of the sun late in the day. Only problem was, when DGC went to do the job, there were no curtains. They had been taken down to be cleaned.