Money launderer cleans up

The subject of money laundering came up in conversation at the Apsley Arms Hotel last Friday night, which surprised me really because my good mate Bradden Jackson was involved in it.

Now before you jump to any conclusions, ‘Bade’ wasn’t shipping any ‘dirty money’ into offshore bank accounts, it was just that his wallet was in a pair of trousers in the washing machine which was now in operation.

‘Jacko’ reckons the only positive thing to come out of the whole exercise was he had put the ‘clothes cleaner’ on a 55-minute cycle and not the 135-minute alternative.

‘Jacko’ reckons the only positive thing to come out of the whole exercise was that he had put the ‘clothes cleaner’ on a 55-minute cycle and not the 135-minute alternative.

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Around the same time, local plumber Adam Dark and his son Jacob were doing some fishing off the jetty at the Aquatic Caravan Park in Port Macquarie. A few other Walcha people there at the time heard a big splash before realising ‘Spud’ had fallen in the drink, fishing rod and all. No drama really, he saved himself before young Jacob declared his dad would have only done it to keep him amused.

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There was a horse racing at Oakbank last Saturday named ‘Lionel Left Me’ which somehow reminded of ‘Lionel the Loose Ball Diver’ who used to play for the Narwan Rugby League team in the 1980s. Foolishly enough, I outlaid a few dollars on ‘Lionel Left Me’ but shouldn’t have as it came sixth, but at least if finished and that’s a bonus.

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Anyone aware of my computer skills will have no trouble believing what they are about to read. Last week I was filling in a document to be submitted and after finishing all the required details no matter which way I attempted to send the questionnaire off it wouldn't go.

After finally getting my daughter Lauren to assist me, she printed out that where an e-mail address was required it meant just that, not ‘as above’ as I had typed in. Bingo, the document could then be submitted and didn’t ‘Loz’ and her mother Linda give it to me after that. And everyone else they told.

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The above document was a nomination acceptance to go to the next level of judging to be a baton-bearer for the 2018 Commonwealth Games after being nominated by Angus Warden with the assistance of Dianne Green.

I’m honoured just to be nominated for any such position. Thanks to both Gus and Di for the nomination, one of many the committee has received and it won’t be until later in the year before it becomes known if it was successful or not.

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Luckily there was no one sitting in the golf clubhouse last Sunday when Luke Brown unloaded a provisional drive off the eighth tee and landed it on the clubhouse roof. The noise it made from where we were on the tee was loud enough, let alone if you were in the ‘house’ at the time.

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To suggest I didn’t shoot the lights out at golf last Sunday would be slightly understating the fact. Seven stableford points in nine holes is not what you would call sensational, and it wasn’t really impressing one of my fellow players who also happens to be in our four-person ambrose team competing the ‘Kanga Cup’ at the end of the month.

Wayne Brennan did suggest the ‘Kanga Cup’ has been moved to a Monday this year and there would be no real need for me to turn up on that Sunday. 

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A few weeks ago, truck driver Todd Cross cruised into the Apsley Hotel and ordered a hot carton of cold cans from publican Graeme Hislop, much to the bewilderment of those within listening range. Graeme suggested it would be very difficult to sell ‘Stirrer’ a hot carton of cold cans before Todd replied that wasn’t what he asked for. Well it was, as those of us in attendance can verify, but what ‘Stirrer’ meant was a hot carton of gold cans.

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Just a quick heads up for anyone attending the Roos v Bullets Group 4 Second Division Rugby League match at John Oxley Sportsground on Saturday. There is very limited seating at the venue so it would be a good idea to bring a chair.

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Big Wigs of the week - Vet Supplies - Harry King, Bowling Club - Tracey Crisp, Tara Stackman, John Mann , Peter Hayes , Newie - Ross Green Nga Marsters Tim Beaumont John Maloney Jock Abraham Prime Meats Stephen Dunn John Maloney Apsley Toni ‘chief chef’ Griffiths (All picked the card: Westend Store – Roy Hawkins, Mitch Dunn, Shannon Duck 14 points.

Interestingly enough, Rabbitohs supporter Tracey Crisp, Tigers fan John ‘Ming’ Mann and Sea Eagles follower Jack Abraham all picked the card last weekend which means they must have gone against their teams. 

All roads lead to Ingleba this Saturday when Forestry employee, Chooks supporter and local larrikin Graham Marshall celebrates his 50th at the ‘Hall’.

Knowing the company Graham keeps, there will be no shortage of fun and games.

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